Wish You Were Here

I'm wishing that you are here by my side. Kissing me lovingly on my forehead and holding me close in your warm embrace...

Missing you and loving you.

A Hole in My Heart

When we broke up a few months back, you left a hole in my heart. But you mended my heart and healed it when you told me you wanted to be with me again. When you were certain of what you wanted. The tugging feeling in my heart was gone. My heart was whole again as I felt truly loved and wanted by you. And I was as happy as I ever could be.

But now, even though we're still together, the tugging has come back again. Because you're not certain now. You're not certain of what you want - of whether you want to be with me, I mean, really be with me... yet again. And I think, until you are certain, I won't feel that my heart has completely healed this time around even though we're not broken up. I won't feel like we're truly together even when we are. Even though you still love me. Even though you're still in love with me. My heart will still have a hole in it until you truly want to be together again.

I hope that in time, your answer will be "yes" you still want to be together rather than "not sure". So, when you are certain of what you want again... And when you feel that you truly want to be together, can you please let me know?

Like I said before, you may call me stupid or silly but... I'll be here waiting for you.

Final Day - End of Year 2011

It's the final day of the year...

How I really wish that I can spend this day with you. To be there with you to celebrate the coming of the new year. And also to take care of you.

My new year resolution: No more tears and to lead a happier life each day.

Rainy Nights

I really don't like sleeping alone when it's raining heavily outside. It makes me miss you so much. I need you here to cuddle beside me and hold me to sleep...

*bao bao*

To Me You Are Perfect

No matter where our relationship may go in the future, even if we may end up in our own separate ways, I just want you to know that I'll always love you. Because you are the love of my life.

Loving You Truly, Madly, Deeply

You've captured my heart and made me fell head-over-heels in love with you. My heart is set on you. There's no one else I'd rather be with. No one else I'd rather love. No one else I'd rather be in love with. Except you. And only you.

You may have broken my heart once or twice but that does not matter to me. With time, I'll be able to heal. As long as you are still in love with me and still want to be with me... That's all that matters to me now. To be able to be with you. To be able to care for you. To support you. To see and hear you laugh. To be there when you need me.

I know I've got a temper and I've made mistakes. But I have to say that I have mellowed down, don't you think so? We've both made mistakes and we'll probably make some more mistakes in the future. But isn't that what a relationship is about? We make mistakes and we learn from it. We learn how to be better for each other. For better or for worse.

You may have your doubts and insecurities but so do I. At least I don't use them as reasons to end our relationship. I merely see them as obstacles that we have to go through to keep our relationship going. Unless your feelings for me have completely changed or gone, I don't see why we can't make things work so that we can have a future together. You had time to think about this before and you agreed to give us another try. You yourself said you know what you want - that you love me and want to be with me and that there is a possibility of a future together. I know, no promises. But a possibility is good enough for me.

24 Today!

Just turned 24 and I'm missing you! Love you =D

Just So You Know...

I wanna be the first thing on your mind in the morning
The one who knows it's you when you're calling
Girl who dries your tears when they are falling
I wanna know you like that.

I wanna be the one you run to when things get crazy
Only girl that you call your baby
One who's always got your back
I wanna know you like that.

5 More Days to D-Day...

... or should I say B-Day?

Getting a year older soon. But will I be any wiser?

Where For Art Thou, December?

I'm missing you very much. December is not here soon enough.

Two and a half months until I'm in UK. Three more months until I get to see you again.

Happy Mid-Autumn Festival!

Happy Mid-Autumn Festival everyone! =)

I Want You

I don't want a perfect person, I just want someone to act silly with, someone who treats me well and loves being with me more than anything.

I Miss You So Bad

Jet Lag by Simple Plan featuring Natasha Bedingfield

(So jet lagged)

What time is it where you are?
(I miss you more than anything)
I'm back at home, you feel so far
(Waiting for the phone to ring)
It's getting lonely living upside down
I don't even want to be in this town
Trying to figure out, the time zone's making me crazy

You say good morning when it's midnight
Going out of my head, alone in this bed
I wake up to your sunset
And it's driving me mad, I miss you so bad
And my heart heart, heart is so jet lagged
Heart heart, heart is so jet lagged
Heart heart, heart is so jet lagged
Is so jet lagged

What time is it where you are?
(Five more days and I'll be home)
I keep your picture in my car
(I hate the thought of you alone)
I've been keeping busy all the time
Just to try to keep you off my mind
Trying to figure out, the time zone's making me crazy

You say good morning when it's midnight
Going out of my head, alone in this bed
I wake up to your sunset
And it's driving me mad, I miss you so bad
And my heart heart, heart is so jet lagged
Heart heart, heart is so jet lagged
Heart heart, heart is so jet lagged
Is so jet lagged

I miss you so bad
(I miss you so bad)
I miss you so bad
(I miss you so bad)
I miss you so bad
(I wanna share your horizon)
I miss you so bad
And see the same sun rising
I miss you so bad
Until the hour hand is back to when you're home with me

You say good morning when it's midnight
Going out of my head, alone in this bed
I wake up to your sunset
And it's driving me mad, I miss when you say

Good morning when it's midnight
Going out of my head, alone in this bed
I wake up to your sunset
And it's driving me mad, I miss you so bad

And my heart heart, heart is so jet lagged
Heart heart, heart is so jet lagged
Heart heart, heart is so jet lagged
Is so jet lagged

(Is so jet lagged)

LDR

Long-distance relationship is not easy when you have too much time in your hands with nothing to do and too much to think about...

Missing you lots!

I've Had The Time Of My Life! =D

Boy: Now I've had the time of my life
No, I never felt like this before
Yes, I swear it's the truth
And I owe it all to you

Girl: 'Cause I've had the time of my life
And I owe it all to you

Boy: I've been waiting for so long
Now I've finally found someone
To stand by me

Girl: We saw the writing on the wall
As we felt this magical fantasy

Both: Now with passion in our eyes
There's no way we could disguise it secretly
So we take each other's hand
'Cause we seem to understand the urgency

Boy: Just remember

Girl: You're the one thing

Boy: I can't get enough of

Girl: So I'll tell you something

Both: This could be love because

(CHORUS)
Both: I've had the time of my life
No, I never felt this way before
Yes, I swear it's the truth
And I owe it all to you
'Cause I've had the time of my life
And I've searched through every open door
'Til I found the truth
And I owe it all to you

Girl: With my body and soul
I want you more than you'll ever know

Boy: So we'll just let it go
Don't be afraid to lose control

Girl: Yes, I know what's on your mind
When you say:
"Stay with me tonight."

Boy: Just remember
You're the one thing

Girl: I can't get enough of

Boy: So I'll tell you something

Both: This could be love because

(CHORUS)
Both: 'Cause I had the time of my life
No, I've never felt this way before
Yes, I swear it's the truth
And I owe it all to you
'Cause I've had the time of my life
And I've searched through every open door
Till I found the truth
And I owe it all to you

*Instrumental*

Boy: Now I've had the time of my life
No, I never felt this way before

(Girl: Never felt this way)

Boy: Yes I swear it's the truth
And I owe it all to you

Both: 'Cause I had the time of my life
And I've searched through every open door
Till I've found the truth
And I owe it all to you

Both: 'Cause I've had the time of my life
No, I've never felt this way before
Yes, I swear it's the truth
And I owe it all to you

"A Kiss" by Andrew Lee

A Kiss

by Andrew Lee

I blow a kiss

From here to there

With it contains

My love and hugs

For now this message

Shall suffice

For not long

We will kiss

Who Am I to You?

Am I your girlfriend or just a girl friend?

If I am your girlfriend, then...

Why did you not come early to my graduation and take more pictures for/of me but did so for your friends like Jacqueline, Yuhang and Yuhang's girlfriend? And the thing is that, you barely even know them except for Yuhang.

Why did you go to the little museum in Bangor with Tammy but not with me when I asked you to?

Why did you not go to the church with me when I've asked you so many times during the first year in uni but you did when Shawn invited you?

Why were you able to talk about intimate things (and have a laugh about it) with Sherry and some of your friends but not with me? Even when you did, why were you uncomfortable with/about it?

Maybe... I'm just a girl friend to you...?

"Missing Items"

As the saying goes: Yat fong ye fong, ga chak lan fong.

Here's a list of items that are "missing" from my room:

- one white ipod classic.
- one Nokia 8750 with a blue cover which has a silver flower on the back that pops up.
- one wooden box which contains about 5-10 watches which I've collected since primary school. This includes a silver Mickey Mouse watch, one plastic monochrome watch with a broken strap, possibly a brown leather strapped Garfield watch and one white (which has turned rather yellow) Baby-G watch. Something like "Yeng. Good Luck. Liza." is written on the red interior of the box.
- a collection of coins and some monies (a few BND$20 notes, one to a possible three BND$100 notes and a few SGD$5 and $10 notes).

If only CSI kits or fingerprint kits and software are easily available. And I think electronic items should have an anti-theft tracker or something like that.

On This Day, God Wants You to Know...

That you have so many gifts! - use them. God has given you so many gifts to sow love and to give hope, to shine light and to spread joy. Abundant gifts. Use them. Give to yourself and give to others. There is an endless spring where they come from.

Never Let Go

She won. And I lost.

Because you all sided with her when you defended her.

I lost when you asked me to stop pursuing the truth. You never pursue the truth. At least, not as far as I thought you would.

You let her go. You're making a mistake by letting her go. She'll make the same mistakes again and she'll never learn. She'll never admit her mistakes. She'll never admit her wrongdoings. Because you've let her go. Not just once. Not twice. Not even thrice. But many, many times before. There's no point in me saying anything else except... She's not a part of me. Or even a part of my life anymore. And she'll never be... Until she finally admits it.

I'll never forget this moment. This moment when you've turned your back on me. I'll never let this go.

Koala :)

Missing your hugs!

Happy 25th Birthday, Andrew!

Happy 25th Birthday! Hope you have an amazing one this year :)

Beautifully Imperfect

Your little imperfections make you perfect for me. You are beautifully imperfect to me and I love you for it.

What You Said

I like the fact that you referred to us as "little husband and wife."

Day 90

Left hanging in the dark...
In the shadows of your light.

Beginning of a Fairy Tale

Romeo found his Juliet. Prince Charming found his princess.

But the fairy tale does not begin here.

Second Chances

Second chances are hard to come by. So here's hoping that we'll make it work this time around :)

Ready. Set. Go!

Day 70

Love is the seed of all hope.
It is the enticement
to trust, to risk,
to try, to go on.


- Gloria Gaither.

Patience

You can have the time - as much time as you need - to think things through and decide what you want. I'll just have to be patient and see how things go.

Your mom was right. I shouldn't think too much.

Hope

I asked you how much longer I've got to wait. And you told me to give you until end of this month. So I'll wait because a part of me really wants to know what your decision will be. But a part of me wishes that I didn't ask you to give me an answer so soon - in case what you'll tell me isn't what I want to hear.

All I can do now is hope. Hope that you feel the way I feel for you. Hope that you feel the way I feel about us. Hope that what I want is what you want. Hope that you'll want to be with me as much as I want to be with you. Because, in spite of whatever doubts you may have, I can see us together. And I hope that you can see that too.

I'm just a girl who is still very much in love... with you.

Day 60

What greater thing is there for two human souls
than to feel that they are joined... to strengthen each other...
to be at one with each other in silent unspeakable memories.
- George Eliot.


Love was to his impassioned soul,
not a mere part of its existence,
but the whole,
the very life-breath of his heart.
- Thomas Moore.

The Waiting Game

I said I miss you... and you told me you miss me too.
I love you but do you love me?
I was in love with you and I still am.
Were you ever in love with me
and will you ever be?

I know I said I'll wait for you but...
How long should I wait?
I hate this waiting game.
It kills me not knowing
what your thoughts are.

I'll still wait for you
That I am sure of.
What I need to know is that -
Will you want me back
and will there ever be US again?

Wondering...

Is it okay that I still miss you so much?

And do you miss me too?

*sigh*

Thinking of You

All I could think of was you and the army stories you've told me while watching Every Singaporean Son during dinner.

A Kiss to Build a Dream On

By Louis Armstrong


Give me a kiss to build a dream on
And my imagination will thrive upon that kiss
Sweetheart, I ask no more than this
A kiss to build a dream on

Give me a kiss before you leave me
And my imagination will feed my hungry heart
Leave me one thing before we part
A kiss to build a dream on

And when I'm alone with my fancies, I'll be with you
Weaving romances, making believe they're true

Oh, give me your lips for just a moment
And my imagination will make that moment live
Give me what you alone can give
A kiss to build a dream on

When I'm alone with my fancies, I'll be with you
Weaving romances, making believe they're true

Oh, give me lips for just a moment
And my imagination will make that moment live
Oh, give me what you alone can give
A kiss to build a dream on

Day 50

And counting...

"Love comforteth like sunshine after rain." - William Shakespeare

But if there is no love, what should comfort me after the rain?

Hero

Sometimes you have to be your own hero because sometimes the people you can't live without can live without you.

Past Memories

Looking through our pictures... Reminiscing on our past...


I miss you. Always.

A Tender Warrior

A real man is kind.
A real man is caring.
A real man walks away from silly macho fights.
A real man helps his wife.
A real man helps his kids when they are sick.
A real man doesn't run from his problems.
A real man sticks to his word and keeps his promises.
A real man is honest.
A real man is not in trouble with the law.


It's one lonely boy's vision of a man who stays. A man who is both an authority and under authority.


It's a vision of a tender warrior.


By Stu Weber.


(Extract taken from leaflet of St. Andrew's Church's first service on 27th March 2011.)

Terrified

Terrified by Katharine McPhee feat. Zachary Levi

Lyrics by Kara DioGuardi

You by the light
Is the greatest find
In a world
Full of wrong
You're the thing that's right
Finally made it
Through the lonely
To the other side

You said it again
My heart's in motion
Every word feels
Like a shooting star
I'm at the edge of my emotions
Watching the shadows
Burning in the dark
And I'm in love
And I'm terrified
For the first time
And the last time
In my only life

This could be good
It's already better than that
And nothing's worse
Than knowing you're holding back
I could be all that you need
If you let me try

You said it again
My heart's in motion
Every word feels
Like a shooting star
I'm at the edge of my emotions
Watching the shadows
Burning in the dark
And I'm in love
And I'm terrified
For the first time
And the last time
In my only life

I only said it 'cause I mean it
Oh, I only mean it
'Cause it's true
Oh, so don't you doubt
What I've been dreaming
'Cause it fills me up
And holds me close
Whenever I'm without you

You said it again
My heart's in motion
Every word feels
Like a shooting star
I'm at the edge of my emotions
Watching the shadows
Burning in the dark
And I'm in love
And I'm terrified
For the first time
And the last time
In my only life
Life, life
In my only life

Sentiasa Menunggu...

Awak tahu tak? Saya tidak pernah berhenti mencintai mu selama ini. Setiap hari, saya merindui pelukan mu dan ciuman mu. Walaupun awak telah melukai hati ku ini, saya tetap mencintai mu.

Saya harap awak akan faham yang saya tidak akan menyalahkan awak kerana keputusan mu untuk memutuskan perhubungan kami walaupun betapa sakit hati ku ini. Tetapi saya juga harap awak akan faham bahawa saya akan memerlukan masa untuk sembuh dari luka yang mendalam ini.

Saya sangat menghargai yang awak masih ada perasaan terhadap saya dan juga merindui saya. Tetapi semua ini tidak cukup bagi ku. Ini kerana saya, pada masa ini, tidak dapat melepaskan mu dan juga kerana saya sentiasa berharap awak akan kembali kepada sisi ku. Mahupun awak telah memberitahu saya bahawa awak juga mahu memulakan hubungan kami semula, ini juga tidak cukup kerana cinta mu terhadap ku tidak sekukuh cinta ku terhadap mu. Saya sanggup mengambil risiko yang awak tidak sudi.

Meskipun ini, saya sentiasa mencintai mu dan merindui mu. Saya juga sentiasa berharap awak akan kembali ke sisi ku walaupun saya harus menunggu mu...

Day 41

For I do love you...

as the dew loves the flowers;

as the birds love the sunshine;

as the wavelets love the breeze.

- Mark Twain.

Head vs Heart

What should I do when my head tells me to move on while my heart wants me to stay and wait?

Love?

The person you love most, will hurt you the most...

From Then Til Now

21 days...

Just a Thought

I'm still missing you... LOTS.

Brand New Eyes

I was finally back in church today after a very long period of absence. My dad was really happy about it and he was telling his friends how he had a feeling about this.

Usually my dad would get up at about 6ish in the morning to get ready for the first service which starts at 7.45am. He got up at his usual time today but in the end decided to head back to bed. Apparently he had a weird feeling then. I heard him get up again at around 9.30am and so I asked if he was going to the second service. He said yes and asked me why. I said I wanted to go too and told him to wait for me...

We arrived at church just in time to catch the first worship song at about five past ten. The sermon today was on Evangelism and how and why to spread the Good News. The sermon ended at 12.10pm and my dad and I headed to Seri area for lunch. After lunch, my dad made a call to his friend. He then told him the story of how he had a feeling that something was telling him to go to the second service today instead of the first. He sounded really happy. And I smiled to myself...

No More "IFs"

If you want to, I'll come looking for you.
If you think it'll work out, shouldn't we start?
If you like me, tell me no more "IFs"
Just do what you want.

- Source unknown.

Happy Part II

Seeing you smile makes me smile;
seeing you laugh makes me laugh;
seeing you happy makes me happy;
especially when you're with me...

Happy

24th November 2010 at 04:59: I don't wanna spend another day without you... I just wanna be the one who makes you happy...

Simple things from you like saying "I love you", "I miss you", "Thinking of you" or a hug or a kiss from you each day is more than enough to make me happy...

The Difference Between Love and Romance: Grown Up Love

"Love is the one power that awakens the ego to the existence of something outside itself, outside its empire, outside its security."

Love, in other words, is transcending the ego to connect with another.

Johnson writes: "The task of salvaging love from the swamps of romance begins with a shift of vision—. Real relatedness between two people is experienced in the small tasks they do together: the quiet conversation when the day's upheavals are at rest, the soft word of understanding, the daily companionship, the encouragement offered in a difficult moment, the small gift when least expected, the spontaneous gesture of love."

We have conceptual differences. We are conceptual differences. But isn't that where love begins, in the difference—the otherness—that makes love possible, and necessary?

As Robert Heinlein told us in his 1961 novel Stranger in a Strange Land: "Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own."

From http://www.oprah.com/relationships/The-Difference-Between-Love-and-Romance/2

Happy 46th Birthday, Pa!

Wishing you a Happy 46th Birthday, Pa!

May all your dreams and wishes come true =D

Dinner at 2 A.M.

Having my dinner at 2 in the morning. Tsk tsk tsk. And now my tongue and mouth are itching from eating prawns...

Apologies

I'm sorry for the lack of update. This has been a rather hectic week for me as I'm still trying to get my head around my new job as a teacher. I will try to update about my week in the next few days.

Toodles!

Last Day at Work

Today was my last day of work at ___. Although I've known all along that this job was just temporary and that I'll be leaving it soon, I can't help but feel sad. I've quite enjoyed myself while working at the company with my uncle and just two other staff at the office - even though I spent most of the time alone as they were often out meeting up with customers and working at job sites. But I think, most of all, I'll miss the time working there with my uncle.

Thank you so much for your guidance and for being nice to me during my short time there. I wish you all the best :)

Inpirational Quote - Maya Angelou

While one may encounter many defeats, one must not be defeated.

Maya Angelou

Stay on the Left Lane!

It's bad enough that truckers/lorry drivers often drive way over their speed limit. By this, I especially mean those with both their signal lights on top blinking. But to stay on the RIGHT LANE too when driving really slowly on what's supposed to be the fast lane for other drivers? Please!

Moreover, a lot of them don't even follow the health and safety regulations. I have to admit that I don't really know what they are but I think it's just plain common sense to have their load securely covered up. Is it not dangerous enough that the trucks are loaded with pebbles, bricks, furniture, electronic items, etc? But to not secure or cover them up properly to prevent the load from falling off the back of their trucks so as to avoid accidents and/or harm to others?

I'm saying this from personal experience as I've seen bricks falling off the trucks onto the road, sand flying off into the air, pebbles spurting off when the truckers are driving fast, etc. Perhaps the only time I've seen the trucks have their load covered up is when it rains, heavily. Otherwise, they often pose as a threat to other drivers.

Good News

I was finally out with Anisah last night after 5 months of being home. And to add to that, it was only my second outing with friends since after Vanessa, Sharon and Ada left for UK in September. Sad life, I know! I guess it's mainly because I've been feeling lazy to drive out as well.

We (Anisah, Ali [Anis's boyfriend], Adeq and I) hung out at this I-don't-remember-the-name cafe which is located at Madang Complex. It was good to finally be able to catch up with her. However, I felt that we could've chatted more if not for Soul Plane showing on Star Movies. Good news from her family: Her elder brother is getting married soon. Congratulations!

I feel like we're so grown up now that we're working or soon-to-be-working adults. Anisah will be doing her Teaching Practice at Sayyidina Hassan Secondary School (Did I get this right? I keep forgetting even though you've reminded me repeatedly what the name of the school is!) on 17th January. Adeq is a helicopter pilot with Shell - how cool is this?! While I, on the other hand, will be an English teacher at STPRI commencing this 11th of January. I'm so excited and yet so terrified! Any advice on what to do and what not to do, etc?

Even though it is good news that I've now got a job with the Ministry of Education, I'm kind of hoping that I'll get a call from the Ministry of ___. It would be such a dream come true for me if I could get that job albeit being more stressful than what teaching may be like.

Another good news - I'll be getting a new car soon! I've confirmed my booking with the dealer and have signed for hire purchase with HSBC. Everything is now settled except for the arrival of the car. Then the pocket draining shall start in early March for SEVEN years to go! Wohoo!

I guess you can say that all good things come with a cost...